Back to Relationships
When you are a child you are both taught that man is supposed to be on a white horse and save the beautiful girl from the life that binds her. The man is supposed to be on a purebred white horse with hair flapping silk shirt clinging in the center while waving at the sides as he rides in to the girl who seems to have her hand in the air at the exact right moment, he yanks her up with her big bell shaped dress somehow not flopping over her head showing her secrets to the world. They both ride off with their fresh clean glowing cloths Shining and rustling around them as they disappear over the perfectly cut grass hill.
We all are kind of skeptical that it ever will happen, but we all kind of look forward to that day, at least a tiny little bit. Be the man be the saving rescue guy, be the woman that everyone is wishing they could save, the one that everyone wants to be the hero for , the one that finds herself worthy of a person so honorable they put a whole hearted effort into saving her.
It’s the basis of everything. and well really I think we need to stop teaching our kids this. It’s time to get that stupid image out of our kids heads. Just let them live, and let events happen completely UN-choreographed by some preconceived over anticipated heart breaking hope smashing myth. You can sell yourself that it teaches planned hopes and morals. What it does is just end in heartbreak, but it is so far into a person’s life you are not there to witness it or you are so engulfed in your own drama of your life that you do not even notice the shred you have done to your own child only to leave them to repeat it. Why would they repeat it? because it is tradition and you think it is good because they have a genuine dream. Why should they live that dream instead of their life??? Their life could potentially turn out better.
Here is an example of how it starts the heartbreak and what it ends up as.
You have a boy in love with a girl who is love with him. They love each other. In that same time, the girl has boys beating her door down. Even the ugly ones, pick one guy that likes her, I will guarantee you that the amount of girls who like him, is a smaller number than the count of guys that likes the girl. If the number was different then the guy would have women beating his door down. Oh yeah that’s right. The girl does not save the boy, so they do not “pursue the man”. So the guy needs a car or some means of transportation to get to the girl’s house. If he is to slow at obtaining this, she will hook up with a guy that has a car. Even if it is for friends or love. The boy that loved her before is meaningless. He can no longer show her anything of interest. She has broken free of the neighborhood and the parents are not around. Meanwhile the boy from before is left behind because an older boy came along. Sure there might be calls or something but it will never be anything, because he still has no means of transportation greater than a bicycle. Yet he watches from his bedroom window as the girl he pines for jumps in the front seat of some lucky fellow’s BMW. and yes the phone calls to the boy who is now “just friends” are typically about how fast the car is, how loud and clear the radio is that it makes her tummy jiggle and how cool it is that the convertible rolls back on sunny days.
So now the boy is sitting there flipping through car sell mags, and Craig’s list and eBay looking for some sort of a car that his parents would be willing to buy. In his head he is saying that he will make his car faster, louder and stronger and better looking than the lucky guy’s BMW. Before he is done with the car, he will have seen his dream girl jump into numerous cars. Of course on the phone with each one he gets further into jealousy and it begins to show when he tells her that those cars are nothing. Who the heck is he to tell her that what she witnessed is not what she says it is? he knows nothing, he never even leaves the house, she has seen the world.
Well long story short, you have a grown man with a mullet shooting up and down the race track in some big car that is worthless for anything, and his should-be girlfriend has a grand daughter by the age of 28.
Without that story of the guy that rides in on the horse and saves the girl, you could have had a perfect match spending their life building custom built cars, or houses, or clothing. 28 years have gone by and you have forgotten that you told your kid this stupid story and broke their heart. Your daughter wouldn’t have wanted for some strong guy to ride in and steal her away from her parents.
Heck you could have made them both hard and angry towards all relationships because they think things just have to be a specific way. People are people we are all going to live out our life and that stupid story is just a stumbling block that ruins the whole event of life. You don’t set standards with that.
You can suggest that men raise their ambitions to better fit that goal, or you could ask women to do the same. Truth is, you just make it worse. Now you have guys who think they can get anyone woman because he has the best white horse in town. His personality means nothing. and you have girls who will not go to the guy who feeds homeless children because all the money he has bought him a dirty donkey.
You have this guy who has been driving his BMW into every club in town, picking up women and using them like they are toys. He finds one woman who is up to his standards in looks and what he thinks is personality. Actually it is her just looking for a guy with enough money for her to live freely and more comfortably. So now you have this relationship completely built on monetary status and looks. They both have the chance to brag to their friends about the person they bagged. They put on this “perfect relationship” persona when they are together in public. So he marries her and they drop a baby. Neither knows each other really. Ring on the finger, baby in the buggy, so it’s now time to feel safe in the relationship. His model class 10 wife has now put on 40 lbs and wears nothing but sweats around the house and that stupid bun in her hair because she knows it looks junky when it is down, that is because of course she hasn’t washed her hair in days. She is taking all sorts of diet pills because she thinks she has to get pretty again because she sees her shallow husband staring at other women. Now she is taking pills to keep her up and pills to keep her mellow and she is an emotional tornado. The guy no longer comes home anymore and spends all of his time at bars. She can smell the perfume on him when he comes home and she knows that she worked as a waitress/stripper and has no skills, she can’t make what she used to because she does not look like she used to, so she is now taking depression pills. She is feeling trapped in a relationship that seems to be her bread and butter. He feels trapped because she can take half his money and there is a kid involved that would be crushed if the relationship failed.
So much for the white horse. Not every man and not every woman are like that. But strange what money and abilities do to a person. I am in no way against money. I am however against what people do when they have it. Sure you can buy a house for your love of your life and yourself to live in happily. But really, there wouldn’t be breast implants if that was the big focus of life for everyone. I mean there is no other reason to get implants unless you are aiming for a certain lifestyle of person. I think the only woman I ever saw with implants who stayed in a mobile home, was staying at her aunts house to hide from her ex who she said was a psycho with a lot of connections.
The white horse dream is so distorted these days, and there are so many options in life. it is impossible for that dream to ever come true.
Let it go.
See people for who they are.
Don’t lie, don’t mislead. Don’t leave impossible standards, because who knows what life may bring. Happiness or comfort.
Be happy, be cozy, and love your mate like every touch of them is as great as a smooth crisp breath, Take deep breaths.