Back to Relationships
Yes I use metaphors, deal with it… I have advertisers to deal with.
For the starts, please do not take this as sexist. I am just trying to state some facts. I am not trying to encourage promiscuity, and I am not trying to endorse getting any kind of transmitted disease. Contrary to the way this all sounds. Trust me, guys, ladies, I really would drop everything for a sure shot at true love.
When a female first hits womanhood, She has guys offering her every single type of relationship you can imagine. Guys since before we hit manhood, we where trying all sorts of junk on every woman we see, just hoping someone would say ” well okay… sure”. Males are the triers, females are the pickers. Why? well it’s the way we are raised. I don’t want to go all into the knight on white horse thing, so I hope you get the jest.
So guys are raised and trained in a way that makes them excited and happy when someone says yes. Because well, it takes a bunch of ” oh hell no” answers before a guy gets the yes. Finally he finds a woman who is like ” well you are better than the rest of the junk that comes around”. So he spend the rest of his life making sure no other guy comes along and steals her away. Do you get it? There is no love there is not major strong emotion, just a happy willie and female who is settling. So when they bed up, he is thinking ” WOOO HOO BETTER THAN A NAPKIN” and she is thinking “hurry up I still have some good batteries” . It is not what it could be. If she really liked him it would be all about mounting grinding doing her best to scratch her own damn itch using what he has, because his appearance and personality are exactly what does it for her. and well if she was exactly what he wanted, he would be saddling up holding the reigns and trying the best he can to scratch both of their itches at the same time. but that is not always the case.
Guys you know you have been that guy who is with someone who just does not do it for you. Maybe someone else in the world will think she is the greatest thing since… well,… pillow cases or something. heck I dunno. but for you she is just someone that has the same physical agreement as you and you both have clanged together. You may have found some weird crazy connection and actually feel love from what you have learned of each other. So Now the lady is wishing the bed was more what she wants, the guy has no idea whats going on because she will not say a dang thing, simply because she does not want to break his heart, or make him feel wimpier and just totally ruin the whole dang thing and make it even worse. So now the woman is what the guy thinks is cold to him so the bed time has cut to once a month or even less, and well she has probably started seeing someone else. Or he will. Sad truth, the ladder might not be the worst thing… for both of them.
Maybe not all people in the world think this way but I assure that many, MANY, deep down inside actually do. When you see someone that everyone wants, you have to double take and say ” HMM I wonder what is so dang special about that person”. You know your whole life, if you are not that friend, you had the friend who was never alone. That friend who seemed to be with the wildest people and was never sleeping alone. You may have even heard them have the greatest night ever…. more than once. Through the wall of the apartment you two share. That guy/gal Must be a champ.
Well actually it’s all about circumstance. Especially when you are talking about the guy. See as I said. When a guy finally gets a ” well….. ok… sure” he is excited, ecstatic. He is surprised. but when he is with more than one woman, on a regular basis, not much is a surprise. In fact he may even kind of be used to and expect some things to happen that the other guy only wishes would happen. and well because of his lack of excitement and knowledge of the area, maybe even a battle plan, he is not like the over excited dog that jumps all over people and scratches them and drools, but he is more like the guy who has time to think about what he wants, what he wants to do for the woman and he is not excited by just a touch. It takes a tad more work for him to …. Meet his grand finish. Maybe not as much as the woman, but more than the regular guy. This makes it more fair. It gives the guy the longevity it takes to do what he has to do to take the woman to her peek, without peeking himself in the first millisecond of contact.
In no way am I saying it is the greatest idea in the world to incorporate another female in the circus act. I am of course saying that it is the ultimate bad idea for the female to look for a better lover to see on the side. That relationship would be dead in the water, and the guy she is seeing on the side, has no rules no chains and is probably seeing more than just her , so when the relationship is reduced down to just 1×1, his uniqueness will soon decrease.
So what do you do?
You start from the start. You work on making sure that you get the best out of your relationship, from the very beginning. You will not achieve anything, without communication. You say what you like and let them do what they want, to achieve what you like, in their own unique way. You work on not being boring, by asking what her fantasy is (yeah… I know… just do it), Give the go, every effort to make it all about her. You don’t just do it for a short period. You go big bang from the very beginning. .
LOl? That part is simple. Guys listen up…Ladies your momma has been teaching you this one since you were a baby, except the translation of it from her age group to yours is different. (Sheesh I wish people would speak directly, and not in code.) Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. or don’t give it all up at once. You heard that , we all heard that. but what does it mean? Simple. It means Keep your cloths on, and make him climax while he still has so much about you to see.. It does not mean hide your body and turn the lights out and be ninjas… No, just go down. When done go get two beers out the fridge, or tell him an amazing joke to keep him interested and not fall asleep. Remember he has simi achieved what he wants with you. but his imagination about the event was much better. You took all of the excited clumsy part out of it for him. There is no rule book in life that says a man has to do all of the work. So laying on your back and sighing (or making pleasure noises) repeatedly is not the answer. You must participate. You can not expect the man to juggle for you and do cartwheels. He is not your entertainment and he is not the act. You are both the act. You have to find the right balance of enjoyment. If this is to much work or effort for you, then things are going to be rough. Guys if you can not get her to do stuff for you then well, things are going to be very sad for you soon.
Guys do not jump into the relationship thinking you are going to do everything for her. Go in with the thought that you are both going to achieve the peek moment. Do not go in thinking she is going to do anything that hurts her just to please you. If you do, then you are selfish and well you are not really going to help you or her. Before you two do anything, you have to get to know how she feels,. hold her hug her kind of as I say “absorb her”. I mean don’t dry hump or rub your wood all up on her. I am saying fight the wood and get very familiar with her scent, get familiar with her feel. Do everything you can to prevent a bunch of surprises. You have to avoid the whole “bang bang go away” thing. In fact. Don’t do anything with her till you know her “feel”, completely. Even if it takes a day or two longer and a pile of tissue when you get home.
I’m actually hoping you get the humor and realism in what I am saying here in this. Your relationship should not be and is not based on just what you do in bed. But one small bit of negativity can cause a huge wave of negativity to follow. It’s up to you to decide how much of “what” is the basis of your relationship. If your partner does not agree, then you are in the wrong relationship. No one is in that relationship to please the other.
Think of art. Think of molding a statue. You have to feel everything as if it feels you.
Take your time. Know the territory, get a feel for a battle plan. What’s in your head that you want to do with her might not match her personality or feelings. Know what she is. And work with that. Do not rush. Do not jump right to what is your main goal. Make that part the grand finale. for both of you. Make her day and then when you go for you, it looks like you have a second wind. Think like you are at work, but your work is art. You have to chip the stone, you have to fill the wheel barrel, you have to walk the wheel barrel, you have to stack the chicks, you have pour and mix the cement… etc etc you can’t just “plop ok there’s a bunch of rocks….. ART!”. because she aint going to see it. You have to put in effort, that much alone is admirable, but in the end, you make it beautiful, that is beyond honor. You find something that seems to make things work, and you become an artist with it. Work with it, get ideas and add stuff. If that isn’t working… Stop that and go back to what worked, try what you want in the mix, if that don’t work, go back to what was working. Do not try and rush it.
Never get excited. Relax. Go at her pace. You will find it very enjoyable. an Hour of of just touching, is one of the best pleasures you will remember your whole life.