Public Annoyances

Coughing the full open mouth tongue hanging out top of the voice cough.

People who have nothing to say, until you are walking away. This seems to be happening quite a bit lately. It is frying my nerves to try and stay polite.

People who seem to know they are in your way, or slowing you down, so they go even slower. It’s like some rude sort of a game.

When you buy a twelve pack of what ever beverage, you do your best not to pop the  handle hole open because you know it just increases the risk of the box ripping… and the tard at the cash register karate pokes it open before ringing you up.

Getting in the self check out only to find that everyone in front of you has the IQ of a gnat and need assistance to get to the next part of their purchase.

Getting in the self checkout and some dillweed knows that if he darts up to the register cutting in front of you, it is such a small deal, it would hardly be worth beating him down.

People who honk their horn when they get to a friends house. Pick up your cell phone and call them if you are too fat to get out of your car. The world does not need to know you arrived.

People who weave in and out of traffic. Really??? 30 seconds is a difference? See you at the next redlight.

The guy riding next to me when I need to get in that lane to turn.

People who Dredge on about politics or religion or something they are arguing about, but sound like they are asleep and  sliding through a “make it up as you go” play at the neighborhood talent show. And they will not shut up to hear anyone speak. Let em be stupid.

The co-worker that feels it is their duty to let you know when you are late. By yelling it aloud and laughing.

The weird girl at work that looks at you as if you did something weird. Who cares??? she’s weird!!!!

The customer that does not know how to use their email. “Attachment? What is that???”

Adults who dress like teens. Dude you are 35, pull your pants up and either fix your hat or get bent. Call me foo or dawg again, my foot is going down.

3 foot tall rims. Great, your car looks like a fricken wagon.

Fat rich dude with obnoxious personality with a hotty. Face it clown, when you run outa money, she is gone, it’s not your looks or your personality, and by judging the belly being so obtrusive, it’s not your pride.

Waiters and Waitresses that will not let you select your meal/drink without making a face ” oh really? ordering that?”.

Sales people who say “you know me”. erm, no I don’t,.. after I buy this I won’t much remember you.

People who stand too close in line, anywhere. GET OFF ME DIRT!

The race to the door. Why is it that people like to race to be the first in the store. That is of course if you are an equal distance from the door to them. “AND THE PRIZE IS,…….. A CHANCE TO BUY  GROCERIES, A MILLISECOND SOONER!!!! “.  I love doing the breathy fake audience cheer as the other guy wins. sometimes I follow them for a few seconds. I have so much as made an announcement to other shoppers “and in first place we have man in blue shorts and baggy black shirt”.

Sagging. People with their butt hanging out of their shorts, on purpose. What kind of prison sex statement gone astray are they trying to convey? The cops love it, they know you will not run and you are the first to tattle on your friends. Your butt hanging out says plenty about you. You are a neato thug.

People who talk into your mouth.

Compulsive Liars. Yeah I work with one. Sometimes he tells me my own stories back to me like they are his.

Overweight pudgy guys who shave their head and grow a goatee and quote UFC to create some false image. ‘Hit him right on the button, right on the button”

Barbwire bicep tattoos. So what b/s story can you make up as to a reason for getting that? I  have heard plenty of retarded stories. ” My grand father had one I got it the day he died”  .. Non coagulated bovine discharge.

Pajamas in public. Look parents, you need to get your dirty leg skank in order and teach her to be part of society and not always looking like she is ready to lay in bed. Some parents suck.

Public Displays of hobbies in places that do not care. Nice camo suite, we get it, you hunt bunnies and ducks in a world that has an over consumption of forestry because you are going to control the over population of specific species.

Cowboy hats  in public. I wish I could just wip out a pirate’s hat every time I see one. you wear your exaggerated iconized extinct guy hat, I wear mine.

Putting on make up. In your car, at the table in the restaurant. The only two places that bother me . DRIVE!!!! the bathroom has a big mirror I know the lighting is different in the actually dining area, but come on, a magic act is only good if you do not know what the magician is going to pull out of his hat.

People who say “irregaurdless”.

People who do not notice you are just being nice because of some circumstance that looms, and they treat you like crap. Like a dissrespectful manager who is a jerk. One small issue keeps you from clobbering him .

Douchebags that study obscure obsolete useless items just to quiz you because he has some mental issue he compensates for.


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