How To Tell if Your Girlfriend Is Crazy

    crazy_girl

    Here is my list of something that really needs to be covered.
    How To Tell if Your Girlfriend Is Crazy.
    Guys you need to know the signs up front. Ladies, you need not read this because you don’t need to hide this stuff from us.
    So here is a list of How To Tell if Your Girlfriend Is Crazy clues, to help prevent everyone from waking up one morning with their cat being boiled in a crock pot and a weird note ranting and ending with “Love you, be back in a bit”.

    • On your first date, she says something rude to the waiter/waitress.
    • Her purse rattles when she walks because of all of the pills.
    • If you have only known her for a week, or for a few weeks and not talked much on the phone and been on just a few dates, and she says she loves you. Girl, you don’t know me enough to convince me of this.
    • You put your hand in the middle of her back just so you can be touching her, as you walk around sight seeing (or whatever) and she tells you to stop pushing her.
    • If your new girlfriend is walking around your house asking you where you got stuff. Jealousy. Checking to see if you have anything left over from an ex-girlfriend. Say ” I don’t know” about everything. She won’t know where to start breaking stuff. By accident or just crazy rage.
    • When she drives, she stares at you and not the road. That stuff scares me so bad, that it’s hard for me to get into a car with someone else driving. If it happens once to you, you will know why.
    • You wake up in the middle of the night and she is just staring at you. About now, a grinning girlfriend or a blank emotionless look, yeah both of them are freaky and hard to fall back asleep after seeing.
    • She changes her hair more than three times in one season. Some times it gets so bad, the girl is left with a little boy’s haircut and bleached so bad, her hair is crunchy. I assume she sees you looking at another girl and is trying to look like her, or trying to look better than her. Who knows, you can’t explain crazy.
    • She introduces you and says “this is the guy you all said didn’t exist”.
    • She has more than two cats.
    • She lives in a tiny place but has big dogs.
    • She brings heavy duty sleeping pills over to your house, and doesn’t take any. Look, if you see sleeping pills, take her home. Get her out of your house. There is a massive mess in this and you do not want in on it.
    • She sends you underwear pictures, and is wearing the same ones the next day when you see her.
    • If she resorts to Reductio ad absurdum every-time you go anywhere in public with her.
    • She digs through your cell phone with-in the first three months.
    • She adds your Ex-girlfriend to her address book.
    • She’s hot and single
    • Has breast implants and is single, in thirties.
    • she asks your Ex-girlfriend to add her to her address book.
    • She makes more sense when intoxicated.
    • You can’t tell when she is intoxicated.
    • No matter what you do, reminds her of some bad ex-boyfriend and it upsets her.
    • No matter what you do or say makes her think you are talking about an Ex.
    • She doesn’t want you to have ever had an EX.
    • If you met her on a dating website. There is a high chance she is out of it.
    • She is very judgmental about you, but you get screamed at the first time you pass any judgement.Or ask a simple question about validity, or the like.
    • You come home from work and there she is. With her best friend, sitting on your porch. Do not react to anything she says at this time unless “hey, we wanna give you something”. Anything other than that is a trap of death. If they are on your doorstep, and she starts an argument, her witness is proof that you are the crazy one.
    • You meet her family and everyone looks at you like you just donated $1,000,000 to charity. They know she is crazy so you being her boyfriend is a noble cause.
    • I have never met a crazy girl with warm hands. EVER!
    • She takes pills before bed, more pills as soon as she wakes. None are birth control, none are vitamins..
    • She has at least one pet snake. Or spider.
    • She has like 7 birds. 1 bird is insanity, 7 would be lunacy.
    • She takes ADHD pills to secretly “lose weight”.
    • If she ever says “god’s going to get you, if I don’t get you first”.
    • Tells you she spoke to your friends and dug up some dirt on you and you need to come over and clear up the record. After a barrage of text messages telling you she is mad at you. Probably not the best idea for you to go over there.
    • Only has something to say when you start to say something. She’s the one who tells her friends you are the quiet type… No you just never STFU.
    • When her friends are over, they always play the “you remember when” game and it always predates you.
    • Her medicine cabinet is the towel closet.
    • If she ever says “When it’s my time to go, it’s my time to go and there isn’t anything I can do about that” while driving.
    • If she photoshops what your kids would look like after the first week of dating, she might be crazy!
    • She laughs randomly while Cooking.
    • She keeps crazy glue in the nightstand
    • a Slow happy smile after an argument (that had no reasoning to it) and then a request to cuddle.
    • You wake up in the morning and she is sitting on the couch, just staring at the tv. The tv is off.
    • You go to the bathroom, or step out of the room and she accuses you of texting someone. and she is sitting next to your phone…. Still on the charger.

     

    If any or all of these are in your life right now, It would be in your best interest to put all sharp objects out of their reach.

    How To Get Rid Of a Crazy Girlfriend

    This is not a legal way to tell if your Girlfriend Is Crazy. It’s not even something scientific or clinically logical or medical fact. it’s just fun. So please don’t think I am a love or relationship adviser.

    Feel free to add stuff below in the comments. Don’t forget to use the share buttons. But try and not use any real names.. or she’ll find you.

    Is your girlfriend Crazy?

    4 Comments

    1. Steve | |

      Funny, scary, and so real of a story.

      I feel as though you have experienced this in the past…

      Still hilarious, though. Haha!

    2. Lost | |

      Now that, that is funny. Shared. 🙂

    3. TruXter | |

      A lot of this, is my own experience, some of it is from watching my stupid friends.

    4. Jannypot | |

      How funny, and eerily true.

      Sharing.

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