Defining a Harley Rider (Poser Edition)

    From this post, one would think I do not like Harley Davidson bikes. but the fact is, I do. I have my whole life. But, there is a certain few riders, that make a Harley a disgrace. You know the guys.
    The guys who bought the bike for some midlife chance to show the world they are tough, kinds of dudes. The ones that rev their bike up at redlights and stop signs and in gas stations to hear how loud the bike is , because they remember what it was like when they heard a Harley and it made them want to cry from fear. You know, back when they were telling ghost stories at their frat party. The disgrace of a human who has to work for the next 35 minutes putting on his chaps, his lame biker vest and hat that he bought at the Harley shop at the end of his street. His leather wrist band that makes him looks like a cheesy 80s guitarist. and his goofy boots that for some reason have to have the front strap at the ankle to look like he wears spurs, but in fact it looks more like an ankle bracelet.
    The guy who has to buy everything that says “Harley” on it and gets the big sticker across his back window of his minivan or station wagon or SUV or what ever the douche drives when he is being his alter ego. Mild mannered queef man.
    The guy that has to make sure that everyone he talks to knows that “he knows some people who do stuff”. and then he gives you the look he practiced for a month.

    You know the old saying “If a tree fell in the forest and no one was around to hear it, would it make a sound”?
    If a Harley rider stopped at a stop sign and no one was around to hear it, would he rev his motor?

    See I grew up a bit different from 90% of the people I have seen on a Harley. When I was about 4-5 years old, I actually rode on the handle bars of an Indian motorcycle. Wasn’t but about 10 minutes or so, but it was scary yet fun. As I grew up, I talked a few times with the old guy that restored that bike. I asked (probably a million times, it was my ice breaker when I would run into the old man) why he would rev the bike up. He would always say “because that’s what you have to do with an Indian” . Well I was uncertain as to why he would say that so I would ask ” so you can be cool like Harley riders?” and he explained “well no, Indians were out long before Harley, and Motorcycle clubs started with Indian. We used to pop our exhaust off and lower our Idle to make the bike sound really good, but the motor on the Indian wasn’t what motors are these days, so you had to pop the gas a bit to keep them running, sometimes it’s because I hear a rattle and need to make sure I know what and where it is”.
    So that all made perfect sense. but when I see some clown on a Harley, pulling into a gas station driving in circles around the pumps, revving up his queef cycle so he can “scare the people in the store”, I just want to run over there and kick him off the bike and stomp both sides of his face,hand him his briefcase and penny loafers and tell him to get back home to his kids. I then want to let Mr. Harley rider know that his kids hang their head when they see their fat dad dressed like one of the village people just to go to the store and buy a pack of cigarettes. STOP DRESSING LIKE THAT, NO ONE DOES THAT BUT THE MIDLIFE CRISIS PUDS!.
    Stop revving your temporary penis at the redlight, you know and we know that you do not know how to fix that thing if it was making a funny sound. Quit trying to look like, and sound like someone who once intimated you.
    and there should be a law that says that Harley shops can’t build new locations in front of wealthy neighborhoods, because those dudes are the ones who have never rode a bike, can’t fix a lawnmower, yet sink their “not so hard earned” cash into this midlife missile.
    Here’s a concept to grasp.
    Politically correct Hipster Harley rider. If that statement does not rattle anything in your head. I don’t know what to say to you.

    Are Harley’s even still made in America? Not just assembled, but the parts, where do the parts come from?
    What is a Harley rider to you? Why do they have to have a Harley? Why can’t it be any other bike? Why do people think that a Harley rider has to act some certain way? Dress some certain way? “oh the leather keeps the sun off me and keeps me warm it’s a multipurpose ” blah blah blah. So do other materials.
    Where do you guys buy all of that leather Harley stuff? Why????

    4 Comments

    1. Herb | |

      Hmmmm. Nice rant but not all Harley riders are like that. That would be about the same as saying all guys that work on computers are geeks and couldnt find their way around a woman even if given directions. I agree that some guys that ride Harley’s are posers, but the majority of us ride Harley’s because they are American made and the best on the road! We love loud pipes and rev our motors to let those caged in around us know we are there. More if a safety measure than trying to sound cool. Although there are a few morons that think that if the rev their motors, it makes them cool. A few of them were at the crawfish boil in old town Spring this weekend. If you took the time to really look into Harley riders, you would find that the majority of them ride for the enjoyment of riding or ride for charity or to support our troops!
      As for the leather, we wear it for protection, although in Houston only during the cool winter months. As for the vests, if you look close enough you would have noticed that patches on them tell a story of what that biker stood for! But then again I wouldn’t expect you to take the time to notice something like that!

    2. Martha | |

      You need to get a grip on life. Not everyone that rides a Harley is having a “mid life” crisis. i started riding dirt bikes at the age of 8 and I ride because it’s something the love of my life and I can do together. Do your research, Harley is made in the USA! Before you go “spouting” off about something you apparently know very little about look at the facts that most bikers are some of the best people you will ever meet. Many raise money for numorous charities, not to mention showing respect for those that have fought for our country(Patriot Gurard Riders). There are many churches that have bike groups. Every person should have the choice to buy the bike they prefer. If I were buying a dirt bike it would be a Kawasaki. My four wheeler is a Kawasaki and my truck is a 4×4 which is no longer considered “politically correct” but do I care? NO!

    3. TruXter | |

      I know. I titled the post before I wrote it and once it was titled, it kinda has to stay. So the title leads you to think something.I do need to fix that, not sure as what I will do though. Started out one way became a rant about puds and got way off topic from the original idea. I think I can fix it but the link will still say the same thing.

      Though I did go back and edit the second line before I posted it to say “But, there is a certain few riders, that make a Harley a disgrace.” and the first line to say “From this post, one would think I do not like Harley Davidson bikes. but the fact is, I do. I have my whole life.”

      I do get where you are coming from, I didn’t ignore that people ride for reasons, I just excluded them from this post because I have nothing against them.

      As far as patches go, I know plenty of patches and their affiliations. I also know there are a lot of bogus patches that people buy in the local shops. Those are easily identified.

      Again I don’t hate Harleys, nor the riders. Just a select few. Like the ones who have no comprehension of the phrase “B*tch bike”. if you don’t know what a b*tch bike is, you ride one.

    4. Mark Kackstetter | |

      I agree, I quit riding Harleys years ago, I now ride a fjr Yamaha and love blowing by the posers, I love Harleys but ride a real bike . I call them leather clowns. Long live the fxr the real HD horrid.

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