Ever Get Creeped Out At Night?

    Have you ever been home alone, and started hearing things? I mean real things? Sounds that cause the dog or cat’s ears perk up and look off in the direction you hear something? Does it not freak you out? Do you get up and ninja your way room to room turning on lights, then head to the next room and turn on that light and back to the first to turn the light off for a second and then blink the light back on as if it will throw the bad guys off a bit?
    We call that “investigating”. lol. I call it scared , scared so bad you have no idea how to handle it.
    Well I figured out the best way to handle it.
    If you hear a sound outside a window in your house, and you are certain that whatever is out there, is still out there, then you need to creep out the bad guy. Then you have to scare the hell out of him. Get him climbing the fence and running.
    You can try the ghostly scratching sound on the walls followed by a huge bang on the wall, and then drop a bunch of pots on the floor. Or you can get really close to the window and start whispering in your best little kid voice, ‘Why won’t they love me? No one hears me screaming, I’ll show them” with a few random inaudible words following and in between. Or you can perform a fake exorcism on yourself. Do like 4 different voices and say a bunch of Latin or Greek sounding words, say few words that sound like bible talk mixed with harry potter magic talk. and a couple screams in pain. Or you can do a granny voice “Shay Shunny, where’s ya put my other shotgun?”. Followed by your normal voice “Granny, you’re not real, you died ten years ago”. and then drop a bunch of pots and pans on the floor. A nice cat howl would be great about now. Or start singing some jump rope song in a crazy person’s voice. Even better “red rover red rover, let the boogy man come over, red rover red rover” and then slap the wall. Followed by cocking of a shotgun.

    How to freak out a potential robber.

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