How to Tell If Your Girlfriend is Actually Married

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    These are not legal or scientific means to tell if she is married or has a live in boyfriend or a fiance. This is just little subtle clues I have noticed in my life about women I have dated or seen over the years.

    Guy, you know, that women have different motives and intentions than we do. With lots of things. So I can’t say for certain why a woman would do this, but I can suggest a couple reasons.

    1. Her husband is a jerk and needs to be put in his place so she is messing around with a guy who would slaughter him,
    2. Her boyfriend is too sensitive and she is boinking someone that might be wimpy enough for him to beat up.
    3. She genuinely likes you.
    4. She has an itch to scratch.
    5. She is bored.
    6. Her guy is Dbag but pays for her life,and well, since he can’t do the job, she outsources to you.

    So, here is my list to tell if your girlfriend is married

    • You only can go to her House on her days off and you have to leave before 4:30 pm.
    • You are only allowed to call one of her cell phone numbers
    • Sometimes when you talk to her on the phone, she shows zero affection.
    • If you give her a gift, she puts it in the trunk when she leaves.
    • Some strange guy is seen around your job, and apartment, lurking.
    • There is pee on the back of the toilet seat and dribbling down the front at her place.
    • The toilet seat is lifted in the spare bathroom.
    • She always leaves her car at like a grocery store or a shopping mall while you two go on a date.
    • Anything she pays for, is with cash, as to not leave a trail on her credit card.
    • People that know her look at you like a boy toy.
    • If you say the words “wedding ring” she taps her pocket. or touches her purse or grabs finger.
    • She avoids certain people she knows.
    • Her insurance card has two names or cars on it.
    • She is used to sleeping far from the bedroom door. Single women sleep closer to the door
    • You ask her to go out with you and she says no, but comes back and asks you, and has a specific time and location already in mind.
    • She refuses to let you see inside her closet, says it is messy.
    • She only talks on the phone when she is driving or shopping.
    • Male hygiene products, like deodorant and cheap shampoo next to her fruity shampoo.
    • Passenger seat is in perfect line with driver’s seat in her car. (not perfect system here but says someone drives her car while she rides passenger)
    • The clothes she wears to sleep, are girly. The single women wear the big ex-boyfriend’s shirts. No married man will go for that, and most married women have enough of their man that they don’t need that shirt.

     

    This list is just so you are not the bad guy making some other guy have to look up “signs your spouse is cheating on you” in Google and find your smiling face.

    If you have ever been in a relationship and just wondered why some dude throws rocks at you while you drive down the street from your girlfriend’s house, maybe there is a reason. Or when you leave her house the neighbors look at you like you are some sort of a bad person or something.

    You’re not a bad guy if she is lying to you.

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