A Question To the Ladies

    This is a question I have that has puzzled me over the years, so I have to ask it and hope for a good true answer.This is a question to women about why they act the way they do when someone offers their phone number to women, instead of asking her for her phone number.

    If you are out somewhere. a club, a bar, fastfood place, laundry mat, garden center, Just out somewhere, and a man gives you his card and walks away. Do you call this man if you found him attractive or interesting? Or if you don’t find him one and or the other.
    If you select to not call the man for one reason or a few reasons, can you please explain below ?
    Just hit the comment button, fake name, fake email, it’s fine. I just need this answer. I need to know what would make a person who is attracted to someone, decide not to contact that person when offered the phone number and/or email address of said person.

    I assume it is like the woman is being called out and she refuses to come off of her stubborn plan and not meet in the middle. I believe she has a set rule of proper ways to start and if things don’t go an exact way her superstitions kick in and the man has slipped into the evil parallel reality of “undatable”

    Please, for all sake of sanity, explain this.

    4 Comments

    1. Alisha | |

      Back in the day, when the attention of guys mattered and I was single – I had this happen fairly often…and less often I found the guy anywhere from attractive to hot. However, I would never (and never did) call the guy who just handed me his number. The reason had absolutely nothing to do with how absolutely hot I was, or that I had a stubborn plan. LOL And it’s not superstition, a proper aligning of the stars, or anything that deep or philosophical. I didn’t call him because it was too easy. If this hot guy walks around handing out his number to me with little/no conversation or even an introduction – no way am I calling this guy. He’s probably done it many times before, and honestly, I don’t want to be one of the nameless on this guy’s list. Besides, it’s also a safety issue. Would I want to call some random hot guy who just handed me his number?

      Now, from an typical woman perspective (and I don’t think just women are like this) – I think people LIKE to feel like they matter – or they are worth the risk. Meaning, I would rather feel like a guy stepped out of his comfort zone to engage in conversation. I actually went out with a lot of less attractive guys because I really appreciated that they were able to overcome that fear of rejection – and actually come talk to me.

      Mind you, I used to be pretty attractive, and never had a problem finding a date. BUT, I never considered myself “undatable” or just too damn hot for words. I just really like people in general and try to treat others like I want to be treated.

      The guy throwing his number around is metaphorically like a guy out fishing – he’ll reel in anything that bites. I don’t want to be that fish!

    2. TruXter | |

      Here’s an instance.
      I am at a store. I see two women walking around with kids. The woman I noticed checking me out repeatedly I walk up to her (after a booger check and zipper check to be sure she was checking me out and not a hanger) and say ‘ I am not sure if you are married or not and I don’t want to do anything to freak out your kids, If you would like to get to know me, my name and number are on the card”.
      This was to be short so that I can get in and get out without disrupting her trip to the store and not have her kids freaking out because she is talking to some guy. Who knows, what if she is married to a beater?

      A million and one circumstances could come up.

      but from what I know. Women don’t want to call the man, she wants him to call her.

      The acknowledgement of “I like you , the ball is now in your court” has been offered. but seems to be denied.

    3. bea | |

      From my point of view depending on how you approached the situation it could be that the woman didn’t realize you were actually flirting. (I am guilty of not believeing that a man could be flirting with me because I either feel like I look bad or whatever other stupid rational or irrational thought comes to mind) Or in the example that you gave above, she may be having too much going on in her life for her to have time to consider bringing someone else into her life at the moment. Also, I come across as a bold person but I’m actually pretty shy when it comes to making a move so it could be that she doesn’t have the nerve to follow through 🙂 every woman is so different that there is never one answer that applies to all!!!!

    4. TruXter | |

      I’m not the boldest person anymore.
      So I want to keep it short, until I see interest.

      Sometimes you just have to put out the offer and hope they meet you half way.

      Hasn’t worked yet.

      Maybe I look like I am just walking around passing out cards. but I am not. Very selective.

      Any assumption that I just hand them out to everyone in the world is like saying you won’t talk to a guy because he has flirted before. What’s the difference?
      One leaves a receipt?