A Friend on Facebook (one that always has something to say about how wrong my website is) Sent me a PM today. A pretty good laugh in it. So I had to send up a woman’s point of view on guys that just will not get the signs. when everything shows that the guy is being a tool, he tries to play it off. How this man flirting with my friend, is just too stupid to have even tried.
So I thought of your list of schmucks (can’t remember exactly what you called them) – but I have one you should add to your list.
When I was at the grocery store today, this guy (about my age) was behind me in line at the check out. Mind you, I have a family of 7 (including me) – so yeah, grocery runs aren’t cheap. So he was talking to me while the cashier was doing her thing, but I didn’t know he was talking to me (I wasn’t really listening to him). He then leans over and says, “Wow! Expensive date!” I cringed inside and glanced to see who he was talking to – and he was talking to me (I got all weak in the knees and began to swoon – NOT!).
I said, “What?” He said, “That’s a lot to spend on groceries, but you look like you eat really healthy, so I guess that explains it.” Uhm… nosy-ass. Anyway, I politely smiled and turned back to watch the total rack up and pray that this would end quickly. He then says, “What you need is me to come over and make dinner for you.” (Initial thought: If I were single, I’d not be inviting some stranger at the grocery store into my home to make me dinner; kids or not). I didn’t respond, but kind of laughed (you know – the “yes-yes, I hear you but really don’t want to entertain you” laugh). Then he says, “Well, a better idea – you should come to my house and let me make you dinner.”
So – I said, “Awesome! I’d love it – I get so tired of cooking for me, my 5 children and my husband!” (I really was genuinely laughing because I just thought it was actually funny for some reason – he went from schmuck to just plain funny). He said (with zero hesitation) – “Sure! What do y’all like?”
Yeah, he got me. I laughed, so did he. Then he said, “Is that a no?” I responded, “Yes. But thanks, that’s nice of you to offer.”
It ended with a laugh – and I was a little flattered because I had just left the gym and looked like a gutter rat…and he was relatively attractive – and it took guts. BUT – is it kind of creepy to stalk what a woman buying stuff in the grocery line and then actually COMMENT on it? If that’s okay, then does it cross the line to discuss the cost of my groceries? In a strange way, I equated it to your, “How much do you make?” question. I dunno – I was never that forward when I was single. I guess when I was dating, I wasn’t really wanting to get married or even really be in a serious relationship – it just kind of worked out that way.
I guess it became evident that you are right – you really have to watch the creepies – regardless of sex.
What she is referring to when she said “In a strange way, I equated it to your, ‘How much do you make?’ question.” is Dating – How I Detect a Bad Woman
What this guy needed to do, is just bow out and leave it be.
but to define what he did.
He complimented the lady with a light interaction and showing notice and interest. Followed by an assault by letting her know that she is not out of his league with the statement that she clearly eats a lot. Then the life preserver of confirming that he still has other interests in her even though she was not what the typical person (as he suggested) would be interested in, yet he clearly is. He was so much into it that he would feed her 5 kids, her husband and her. And then he realized he was a douche.
Very good pick up technique. but poor execution.
What he should have said is simply, “Ok My mistake,Didn’t consider you were married, I was just being nice”.
Now guys. On a similar but different note, I have learned never to hit on the females I think are less than my level of hotness (If I don’t think she is out of my league and way too hot for me, I will no longer hit on her). Sure they are are destined to treat you better, but you stand the risk of what I have run into. Twice now I have factored everything, all issues possible to make sure I can land a sure deal one nighter that will possibly turn into an on call with a new person, just dim the lights and all is cool right? You know, great shape. Simi ok face, so you compliment without complimenting. Basically you notice and that is all. like when you look at her pictures, you say ” the camera sure loves you” . That stuff is gold man, Pure gold. It’s a compliment without saying “wow you look hot”. It’s letting her know that you know, that people pose for pictures.
Well twice now, that one has fallen on me with vengeance. Yep I forgot one factor of hitting on uglies. The drag queens and transvestites.
Ok I have to leave that there. I can’t write much more after admitting that one.
Just admit your faults, mistakes and bad flirts, to friends and family. The truth of this will bring you to a feeling of freedom and openness. Don’t tell them in a goofy voice. Do not tell them looking for advice, just let the info out.