Top 10 Worst Dates (#8)

    Single dads.  Those are a slippery slope in that they can go either direction.

    This guy I met at a movie.  I went to see a movie and was by myself.  It was a weekday, and I decided I would go see a scary movie (it was terrible with bad acting, but scared me just the same).  As I was leaving the movie, it was dark outside and I had to walk to my car which was parked pretty far out.  I was waiting on the security guy to pass by so I could get an escort to the car.  This guy was leaving as well, and fell as he was walking to his car.  He stepped off the curb awkwardly – I don’t think he saw the curb.  I went over to see if he was okay and offer assistance getting back up.  He was embarrassed, as anyone would be, and he wasn’t trying to pretend that he wasn’t.  I found his honesty and humility charming.  We talked for a few minutes, and he offered to walk me to my car.  I was hesitant, but the guy’s knee was bleeding and his shoe was covered in muddy water…obviously he hadn’t set up a fake situation.  I accepted his offer.

    We got to my car, and we exchanged phone numbers.  He gave me a disclosure that he was a single dad, so his time is limited on some weekends.  Again, I found it charming that he wasn’t the kind of guy who would put his kids off for a weekend in an attempt to go out with a woman he just met.  I had good vibes.

    We went out a couple of weeks later.  We were going out for pizza and beer to watch an Astros game.  Finally!  A date where I didn’t have to dress up and put on the uncomfortable heels and lipstick.  It was a ball cap kind of night – my favorite!

    So maybe we had a “failure to communicate.”  I love that phrase.  It implies that somehow the act of communication failed, not the delivery.  He came to pick me up from a local Starbucks.  I didn’t let him come to my home because I didn’t like anyone knowing where I lived until I knew them much better.  But he really wanted to pick me up because he had a new car and loved driving it around.  Eh, whatever – I can save a few bucks in gas.  No problem.

    He was casually dressed, smelled good, and well groomed.  He was a nice looking guy with a nice, genuine smile.  I felt totally comfortable around him.  So, the car whisked me away to a surprise destination.  I could not wait to throw back a couple of beers and watch the game…heck, maybe they would have one of those trivia contest things, too?  He wouldn’t tell me where we were going, he wanted it to be a surprise.

    We pulled into a strip mall type of area and we parked in between a Chuck E. Cheese and a Payless Shoe Source.  I didn’t see a sports bar anywhere, so I was confused.  “Here we are,” he exclaimed as if I were 5 years old and we’d just arrived at the zoo.  Uhm…what?  Here we are?  Where? Surely not…

    Yes.  Chuck E. Cheese.  I can’t make this up- I am being dead honest.  I asked, “Uhm…really?  We are going to watch the game at Chuck E. Cheese?”  He chuckled warmly and smiled and I swear I felt like I was a 5 year old girl out with my grandpa in that moment..except I had bigger boobs, shorter shorts, longer hair, and liked beer.  We got out of the car, and I was thinking maybe he was trying to be funny – because that would have been hilarious!  Uh..no such luck.  We entered the obnoxiously loud and overly bright pizza place to be greeted by what seemed to be about 20 kids and lots of adults.  Oh yes, it was his son’s best friend’s birthday part.  I was his date (unknowingly).

    So who do you think the first person the guy introduced me to?  His ex-wife.   Seriously.  She seemed to be seriously upset at my presence, and who could blame her.  She was an obviously unhappy woman who appeared overly tired and frazzled.  She so did not need me there to add fuel to an overtly burning fire.  I was very confused.  I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him to come outside to talk with me.

    I stepped outside and waited for him to follow.  About 10 minutes later, he came outside giggling like a school girl.  I asked him what was going on?  He said that he knew his ex-wife would “eat her heart out” when she saw me and that he knew she’d be jealous.  Ah, what lovely sentiment.  He obviously wasn’t getting my vibe, I was pretty angry.

    He said, “Come on, let’s go back in and I will introduce you to my son.”  Uhm, no way.  I told him that I preferred no to because it was very inappropriate to continue going on with this date.  He had no idea why I was angry.  So, in a quick moment of thought, I told him that I had slept with one of the men at the party and didn’t want to go back inside.  Yes, I lied.  I laughed, was red, and my speech was a little fast – all the signs of either being giddy or lying – but he had no idea which.  He kept asking me who it was, and I kept saying I wasn’t going to tell.  He asked if I could wait in the car while he went in and said his goodbyes.  What a jerk.

    I told him no, and told him that I was going to go ahead and call a friend to come get me and take me home.  When he offered to take me home, I told him, “No, that’s okay.  If I am being honest, when I saw the guy inside, it brought back a lot of emotions. I am going to call him up after this is over and ask him if he’d like to come stay the night with me.”  His charming smile and girly laugh dissipated quickly and he became solemn.  He asked me a few more times who it was, and I insisted on keeping it to myself.  He finally gave up, turned his back on me, and went back to face the party.  Alone.

    I called a friend, and was saved within 20 minutes.  We went back to my place and he stayed the night.  He was my roommate and best friend (and yes, he was straight).  I wonder what his ex-wife thought after he returned without me….