How To Meet a Woman

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    How To Meet a Woman

    So, you’re down on the luck with the ladies. You have been single for some time. You just need to hook up with someone and spend some time with them. Be it for personal or not personal interaction, just so long as you are talking to someone else other than your cat.

    Women can be judgmental. Everything you say to them can be scrutinized in a millisecond. Their life is different from yours. From the day they started growing their chest area, guys have been beating their door down. So they have many in their history to rate you by. With each guy they fall for, the women get a bit more careful with their selection. Constantly grading you based on the last men in their lives. You can’t be like any of those men, but you can’t be different. Different will toss up red flags all over the place. You’re just a guy who thought she was cool. Her first thought of you is, you are a horn dog, this flying puffy dumb dragon like thing that has nothing on it mind but “who can I do, who can I do, who can I do”. Picture that with a goofy sounding voice. You can’t help it, she can’t help it.

    Men have been following her around with a goofy look on their face since she was in her early years. So what they see you as on a first impression is solely based on her personal experiences and her lessons from her bitter burned out mother. 🙂 nah. it aint that bad.

    Ready to meet a woman? Here are the rules.

    Do you have sinus issues? Wait for your sinus to clear up before you go sucking snot up in your brain while trying to meet a woman. “Hi my name ****SNNNNNOOOOOOOOORRRRRRT**** Dave, I was” …. blah blah blah. You blew it dumby. Never suck snot while you talk to a woman. Don’t scratch, don’t burp don’t cough. If you walked up to her doing all of those, she is going to go home and take a bath in Lysol and mouthwash. Do you not know what manners are? Remember your manners. So no crotch grabbing, no moving the midgets from one side to the other for better presentation. She won’t even look there. So don’t.
    To better assure that you will be at full effort, if you do anything like, um… shake hands with the midget, late at night. Don’t do that for a few days. This will assure that you are going to put more effort into this event. Sure sounds insane, but just hold out and abstain for about 4 days, and watch how forward you become.

    Where do you go? Just go anywhere that you are comfortable. Go places that people accumulate in large numbers, that you are comfortable with. You don’t go to a club to meet women. You go to a club to dance with women. There it’s hit and miss, mostly miss. Do you like comic books, rock climbing or anything? Go to a Comic book store in a large shopping center. Comic book convention. That one is hard to do because comic book conventions only happen so often. but if you are still single when the next rolls around, go. but be forewarned that most women will be there are with nerds just like you already. you have to like more than comic books. In fact, write out a list of things you like. and then look for an event for those topics, and go to each one. Don’t just go to places where you know women accumulate. If you don’t like the topic there, you and her already have a difference. So if you go a place that you like and meet a woman, you have a better chance of getting along for a good while.

    After you try a few places, you will fully know what locations, women do not go to.

    Do not practice flirting on the staff working at the locations. That’s not even practice, that, more like asking your mom if you are strong or smart.

    What to do when it’s time to talk to a woman.

    Okay, So you spot someone that you have an interest in. How do you just walk up and talk to her. First you have to make eye contact. Eye contact will say the most for you. You smile. She smiles. If she looks away, she is not interested and is just being polite and gave you direct up front notice that she is not interested. If she looks back after looking away. Then a few things may be happening. She is looking to see if you are still staring at her creepy, or she actually had something distract her that she had to put first before some stranger and is now ready to engage in the meet, or she is thinking something I have no idea what it means. Sorry. but it could be polite, or bashfulness.

    If she smiles back stays locked in a look with you, you have 30 seconds to get up off your chair and walk over there and talk. Yep. 30 seconds. After that, the opinions begin to pile on and the preconceived ideas based on her past, are floating to the top and she will chicken out of talking to you. So go now. Look for a ring. Look for the dude that is peaking over the crowd to keep an eye on her. If you see him, turn yourself so that he is in the corner of your eye, not behind you or behind her. Watch her to see if she is keeping an eye on him. If she is keeping an eye on him, you have to ask, but be cool. “You didn’t come alone?”. Her response is important. If she doesn’t talk about her husband or boyfriend or fiance being there, then he is just some dude in love with her and she does not feel the same way and is trying to get him hooked up or some crazy stuff neither of us can imagine.

    What do you say? Well as you are walking up to her, notice something on her cloths or in her hand or that she has been staring at, and comment about it. Not negative. Never negative. If you know something about it, then just state the simple fact, or it’s “Also Known As” name, that works as an ice breaker. Don’t walk up and be Wikipedia. Just a comment or a statement. This should start a conversation. Never start with a question or a quiz. Nothing like “did you get that here” or “what’s your favorite color”. Save those for the crazy girl you are trying to make go away. Statements. Not facts, not history lessons. None of that crap. You are not going to be her teacher or her father. Just be a dude. Not the most knowledgeable, but not an idiot.

    Complements, though they are nice and show that you notice effort, are useless. If she does not realize you are attracted to her by walking up to a stranger, then she is either an idiot or very high. Tell her a short joke, if the talking stops and you feel a bit of uneasy silence setting in. A joke that is easy to understand and not political or religious. You don’t know her religion yet. and you have no idea her political stance. DO NOT ASK! Remember. No questions. Except one. The question you ask at the end of your meet. ” How can I contact you, you seem like someone I would like to get to know”. It’s that simple, that easy.

    Now. How do you get her to go out with you? and what do you do when you do go out with her? What ever you do , don’t call it a date. Don’t call it “going out”. Call it “a meet up and get to know”. Where you just get together and get to know each other.

    Find an event to go to, out doors, that might have food, and not be too loud to talk. and it must have seating. Food should be snack food but not super unhealthy. Before you take your first bite, say ‘I really shouldn’t be eating this” She should inquire as to why. Tell her ” I dunno, I just think I should be eating a little more wholesome”. Now is the moment. She should start laying ground. If she is interested in you and planning her future as well as I think she can, she will tell you ” Oh me too, but I can’t cook worth a darn”. Or something along those lines. This is a clue that she is even thinking ahead and warning you up front, that she will not be your live in cook. You’re in. The best response I have is (don’t say it snarky, say it admittingly) ” Yeah I can’t take out the trash”. She will inquire. Because she wants to know what the heck that is. Tell her “I can feed myself, but the trash man and I aren’t on the same schedule”. It should end there. In fact change the subject fast, Say “This is a nice meet up and I would like more”. Now let her talk

    What do you talk about on a first date? what do you do on a first date?

    No worries. You might have a chance to get to know someone, if you just calm down.

    That’s the biggest part of this whole relationship and love and meeting up and getting to know someone. Do not ever panic. Remain calm and don’t act like you just won a zillion dollars. Then again, acting like you have a zillion dollars might work for you. Just be calm about everything. No stress. keep a slow smile. Not a crazy stalker grin. Just a smile. A smile can go a very long way.

    Don’t be negative. What is negative? Heck if I know. Everyone has their own standards. So. Don’t go into detail about anything until you hear her side of the topic. and no matter how mad she sounds about a topic, don’t ever get as mad as her, and never dislike anything more than her. Sure it sounds snaky, but trust me, she is pulling her own witchcraft on you, as you use the wizardry I am handing you. Don’t lie. Just feel no need reflect your opinion, if your opinion is not as positive as hers.Shut up.

    Listen to the woman. Hear what she has to say. Hear it. All of it. Shut up. Do not jump in with how you can relate because….. no… SHUT UP!. Strong Silent type. The END. That’s you … Strong … and Silent. No mater how cool your story is that goes along with what she has to say and how it reminds you of…… NO…… SHUT UP. Save that crap for an email later. They love to read stuff. They do not like to hear stuff. They want to be the center of attention. You get talking, you will say to much and wonder when the hell you messed up. Just shut up.

    Dance. Not get out on the floor and blow everyone away. Just dance. Let her blow everyone away. She needs the attention, you are there to provide it. Even if she dances like an ape with a broken ankle, make her feel like she is in the spotlight and the floor is hers. Dance slow. Dance simple and step away to watch her moves. Not her body, but her moves. Look at her hands, look at her neck, look at her legs and then her face. slow. Should take about 5 seconds. Smile, don’t forget to smile.

    Never say “WOAH” or wow, or anything over amazed. Maybe a couple “well that’s nice” every now and then, just never use a one word expression. Unless you are dressed like a caveman for some costume party and are staying in character. Never talk about your friends. Good, or bad.Your friends are idiots. They don’t exist, you are over selling them. Shut up!

    Be calm, be quiet, listen, be kind.

     

    How To Get a Woman
    How To Get a Woman

    The End

    What does the end say for you? Well it says everything. The end says if she wants more from you. The end of the night says whether you are still going to be alone after this. The end of the night says if you just made a friend or a girlfriend or someone that wants nothing from you, Ever!!!
    If and when the kiss happens, make it just a kiss. Don’t push for anything other than showing how great the kiss is. Sex is not an expression of a good kiss. Touching her neck and pulling her tight is a sign of a good kiss. Grabbing her parts, is not.

     

    Signs that the night went well:

    • She touches you, often. High on the arm is kind of iffy, but shoulder and neck affection. a hand touch is good. Do not pull your hand away but do not freeze. If it’s a short touch of your hand, return it, but last a short term longer. (all the while keep talking/listening what ever but do more than just reach for hand that the same time). If she reaches back for your hand, turn it over and see if she touches your palm. If she does, slide your hand away, touch the back of that same arm with the palm of your hand in a soft grab, then reach to the middle of her back and set your hand there for a few seconds then go back and reach for her hand. If that goes well, a kiss is soon to come.
    • Through the night she kept pressing her chest on you telling you that you are (add positive sounding word here). The more positive the word, the stronger the feelings she has for you. cool= friend.     awesome=very strong feelings. Neat=she knows a nerdy girl you would be great with and hopes you two find each other somehow.
    • She kissed you. She kissed you before the departure, she kissed you again later
    • She mentions her family often followed with ‘if you ever meet them, you will hate/like them”.

    If all/some/any of that happened, go for the kiss at the end of the night. Even if it didn’t. Do it anyway. If she rejects you, there. It’s over, you wont be calling or hanging out with someone that just sees you as a possible friend. Relevant Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?

    1 Comment

    1. Dinah | |

      I love your insights! I’ll pass them along…

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