Walk of Shame and Fame


    Ladies, you want roses, right?

    You like it when someone brings you roses, right? Roses come into an office, and every female looks up with that slight tinge of “Oh, those are for mmm, ok they aren’t for me but they are nice looking, I mean why would anyone, I wish I could have some roses why doesn’t anyone ever”… blah blah… Just before you open your mouth, we see the look of desperation and stress.

    Ok let me explain. My mother used to be a florist. Sometimes I would get to do the deliveries. Downside is sometimes I would have to do the deliveries.
    Sure you get the attention of all of the women in the building. But downside, is they are all thinking the same thing, about some guy close in their life “Oh boy, my man pulled through”. Then the look of disgust, anger and disapproval then the look of please please please (denial) then the desperate yelp of “Oh those are nice, I wish they were for me”. Ladies. WTF are you thinking when you say that? Do you know how pathetic you sound when you say that? Have some damn dignity. Please. No wonder he doesn’t send you flowers. You have no control of your emotions.
    It feels horrible being that guy trying to sneak flowers past all of the women in an office building, so you don’t have to crush all every woman in the room as you walk past. So much as wearing a jacket over uniform, leaving hat in the car, putting the arrangement in a duffel-bag and hoping no one stops you thinking you are a spy or a terrorist. Heck you are already acting and looking weird.

    Now imagine what it’s like being a guy who doesn’t do that every single day. A guy that feels like buying a rose for his woman. Standing there on an escalator, in an elevator, hell walking out of the flower shop they spot you and begin telling you how awesome you are. Please women. You are scaring the hell out of this guy. and again, you sound desperate. Stop it!
    Taking the rose (s) out of the car. I swear it’s like you all have radar and come popping out of bushes “Someone’s lucky right?”.

    Do you know what guys do when they see another guy bringing roses? Guys look with shock and fear and a gasp then look down, away and shake their head. Do you know why? They are wondering if their ninja wife/girlfriend is somewhere near by seeing this, then realizing that the guy with the rose is just trying to get extra points, then remembering what it was like the last time  he tried to bring someone a rose without turning red from all of the attention, and is ending with “Poor guy”.

    Ladies, please leave the poor guy with the roses alone. You are not boosting his ego. You are not helping want to do this any more than he already wanted to. You are not helping. and for the love of anything, don’t call the guy delivering flowers “the flower delivery boy”. In fact don’t call the pizza guy that either. That’s just rude.

    Do you know why some men don’t like to do roses?
    Because everyone makes a big deal about it.
    Come to work wanting to put one rose in a cup in your own office, and watch every person in the building stare at you as you walk.
    That type of attention is stupid.
    Ladies, you want roses? When the guy comes in with roses and is obviously not coming to your messed up gross area, don’t say anything to him. Just let the man continue what he is doing.

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