To the ladies on Dating Sites

    dating-site-women

    Dear ladies of dating sites. You need to reel yourselves in a bit. There are things going on in reality, that some of you seem to ignore. Things that you deny while you justify some weird goal or agenda or motive. I don’t have a clue what you re doing but it’s weird. Ladies, you need a reality check.

    Okay here’s a run down for you ladies on Dating sites.

    • Bright flash white washed pictures. We know you have wrinkles. Stop it… you look like eyeballs and nostrils.
    • Hiding behind things in your pictures. we know you have a few pounds, please show us what we have to work with here. Do we need to prepare for a huge meal or a regular meal? Some of us would like a huge meal and someone to share it with, would hate to get a good hearty woman out and she leave early because a fist size salad didn’t do the trick.
    • Putting your kids in any of your pictures. What the heck is wrong with you? Just mention your kids in your profile, that’s it. Crazy woman….
    • Putting some old much prettier year photo of you as your main photo. You do realize we are now looking at a comparison chart saying “Eek she looked better before, I’m out because this is just getting worse”.
    • Getting a make over and leaving up old pictures. What is this? before and after? Which one is the real you?
    • Glamor shots type pictures. Those things are so cheesy take them down.
    • Cartoons in your photos, or crazy sayings that you think are funny. If the saying is funny, then write it in your description or quotes area. No one wants to date a cartoon.
    • Messaging with no picture. Sure you took it down because all of the guys that flooded to you was overwhelming. On a dating site.. You got hit on by guys and that upset you.again….. on a dating site….. yeah. Stay invisible nut.
    • Get mad when a guy says “Hello”. On a dating site. and tell him that he needs to write more to talk with you. lol, get bent bitty, are you paying us to type this book of holy worship to you?

    Your kids
    It is gross that you share pictures of your kids on dating sites even if you think there is some rational reason of showing the man of your interest, your family. Save that for after the first date. There is no reason to start their lives as a picture on a dating site. I think it’s even more gross when you have more pictures of your kids than what you have of yourself on dating sites.

    Crazy Pills
    Why are so many of you pill freaks? Why are so many women on dating sites taking pills to keep the crazy in? It’s like everyone over 35 is nuts and needs 50 pills a day. If you take crazy pills, and try and hook up with someone who says they don’t want to date someone who takes crazy pills, I am certain you have some justified logic… or…want to prove to yourself that you are an exception because you think think you are some acceptable type of crazy. You are not.

    Road trip
    NO ONE IS likely to drive 75 miles to visit you. Maybe once or twice in the beginning but no.. 20 max and they will be grumpy.

    Okay, you have friends
    If you are buried in a crowd of people in every single one of your pictures, it’s crappy of you to not tell every single one of those people that you put their face on a dating site, and I think it’s bad manors to make the guys do an Easter egg hunt and process of delineation to figure out which one in that crowd is most likely single. It’s like being forced to play “Where’s Waldo” or  “Find the drunk girl that no one likes”… Stop it. If you are in a crowd in every single picture, can you please make it different crowds? Same 9 people in every picture and then get upset when guys have hopes that you are any one of the 8 hot ones.

    The whole story
    Truth is, no one is going to read your profile until they know how well you communicate.You can’t expect every single person on that stupid site to memorize your profile. One of the stupidest and $4!+iest response you can have is “DIDN’T YOU READ MY PROFILE”. No… No I did not. You can edit that thing for a year straight until it is nothing like you. People will read your profile when they see that you aren’t a bad person.

    Proper Conversation Starter
    If the first thing a guy says to you is “Hi” or “Hello” , that’s called a greeting. If you want people to write you an essay, be a school teacher. Hi or hello means that the person actually typed that to YOU. anything else is most likely copied and pasted to you and 500 other females. Just as yall do. “Hi I saw your profile and think you’re interesting, I like your eyes, I have a job and a car and 7 kids and am currently in search of the love of my life contact if you want to talk more”. Yes… lots of women post that exact same format. IDENTICAL. I would love a “Hello” or “How is your day” from time to time.

    Extravagant agenda
    Ladies, don’t go taking pictures of yourself in the most expensive surroundings and posting those on a dating site. The guys of that caliber, have enough money for all of the hookers and strippers he wants, so your yacht photo falls short of your best intentions. Same with your Lamborghini picture. The guys you are going to land, you will complain about their personalities.

    Relationship status
    Married ladies who are on a dating site and trying to motivate your husband to love you more because you can get a man easily… You are trash and society should be allowed to spit in your face on a regular basis. He’s not worth that effort, You are not worth that stress. You both are the best either of you deserve. WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER GUY???

    Stab at your ex
    If your profile is built trying to anger someone, or touch a nerve, you are a childish idiot and not worth dating.

    She’s playin
    If you get a date, don’t request the guy remove his profile, while you have zero intentions to remove yours. On that note, if you freak out every time the guy gets a text message and responds while you are spending an entire first date replying to notifications from the app to your favorite dating site, then you are scum.

    Look everyone I like to party
    We get it. You like wine. You are a drunk, and no woman likes to hang out with you so you have 90900000 guy friends.

    And dear Dating sites… Don’t do a rating system. That’s crap. No one wants to be that person who hits on the higher ranking people. Someone makes top ten, people will not talk to them, because of some notion that the person will be bad or mean, or rude, or stuck up.

    Chubby women hit on guys their first day signing up. The crowd gets prettier on the second week. Then begins getting uglier on the fourth and it’s all downhill from there.

    For the record, there have been some wonderful women that just were not a perfect match. Or I wasn’t a perfect match.