How to Tell if Your Boyfriend is Crazy
It’s no secret that women have been considered “crazy” for less than substantiated reasons. But hey, who can refrain from laughing at some of the insane things we ladies do while dating. There’s been countless movies, memes, and opinions on the topic since Eve led Adam into trouble.
But, is it fair to assume that men are somehow excluded as ever being crazy? Admit it, at some point in your dating history, you have looked back on at least one guy and thought he was completely out of his mind. I thought of a short list I encountered while single, and laugh (now). I thought it’d be fun to point out of the dating “red flags” I encountered back in the day. Enjoy!
So, without further ado, a list of experiences that reek of insanity:
- When out on a date, he says, “No, I can’t have a drink because I have to blow-start my car.”
- So you are away from home, and your current beau (not boyfriend) duct tapes a letter on your door facing out that says, “I cannot find [insert your name]. If you have seen her, please call me at [insert his number].” Yes, I had a creeper actually do this – he was insane.
- He sends you pictures of his junk before your first date.
- He sends you a dead bouquet of flowers.
- He says he loves you within the first couple of dates.
- He is rude to your waitress/waiter/bartender/friend(s).
- He orders a drink that comes with an umbrella and fruit.
- He is defensive about his ex.
- He spends longer than you getting ready to go out.
- He insists he knows everyone in the bar and band, but talks to no one and calls no one by name.
- He has a floral print bed spread.
- He has floral print anything.
- He wears a long sleeve button shirt with shorts and loafers without the socks.
- He lives in his past – his phony past. “I used to be a fireman.” “I was a paramedic.” Yet, now he is a WalMart stocker.
- He drives it like he stole it with you in the car.
- He insists on ordering your dinner, and when you dislike it, he gets mad and tells you that you have no taste.
- When you have to be quiet going back to his place because he doesn’t want you to wake his mother.
- When your drink has a little fizz to it, or it tastes “off.” Leave. Now.
- He has many, many candles at his place.
- He rummages through your phone/computer at any point.
- He constantly asks you about your sex life before him, and he wants to know where he ranks.
- He mentions his ex-wife, child support, and/or “legal issues” on a regular basis.
- He believes monogamy is a wood.
- He thinks he cannot have a STD because his ex-girlfriend was “on the pill.”
- He uses sleeping pills to counter balance his Adderall to go to sleep at night.
- His mother has psychological issues.
- He has a constant need to make you feel inferior.
- He wants to constantly compete with you instead of encourage you.
- He has less body hair than a 9 year old girl (he shaves everything daily).
- He tans.
- He has a belt buckle bigger than your license plate.
- He kept a dress you wore to his place and won’t return it.
Hope you got a smile out of these- and feel free to share your own! But the bottom line is, if it feels crazy, it probably is. If your intuition is screaming, you would be wise to listen. Happy dating!