Things Women Don’t Know About Men

    A little about  why I am writing “Things Women Don’t Know About Men”

    For the early years of my life, I was raised by a single mother and my sisters. and my mom’s sisters and my grandmother. My mom has a lot of sisters. So. There have been a lot of females involved in my development. Not a whole lot of dad involvement “showing me the ropes”. You know stuff like “show them your war face son and they will fear you” type stuff. None of that. Don’t get me wrong. I loved breaking and fixing things as a boy just like all the other booger eaters. I just didn’t grunt when I did it. Until I put things back together and made it (in my eyes) better.
    I spent a lot of time not really fitting in with guys. Their demeanor bothered me. I found them to be weird and doing lots of useless things for some odd ego trip or simply because they were taught that’s how it should be done. The we way they walk into a room. The way they would get excited and start yelling. then I realized, they are playing some game. When they start playing I walk off. I have no need in nonsense like that.
    I know what I am capable of.

    Preface of men

    Guys will seek out other guys to have these weird little aggravating stand-off situations with them. To pet their own ego for some fantasy-fake-off staring contest. Guys will bluff this stupid game until they are on their death bed. Each contest they feel they’ve won is like a new step up their stupid ladder. None of it means anything in the end. False sense of pride.and stops at the tip of their nose. because truth is, no one cares. So few people care, this is the first article to cover all of these and release it to the public. My goal is to let women know what those stupid things her boyfriend/husband does all mean. He’s not always checking out the hot girl in the grocery store, he is trying to stare down the dude with her so he can feel like he has accomplished something. because come on, even you know why he would look at her. She’s hotter than you or you wouldn’t even notice.
    These things are just as competitive between men as, well… Let’s say you go to a party and you feel like you are rocking it. You walk in the door and deep down you almost feel like giving a twirl on your way in, and up walks a lady. A super hot, or super goofy woman walks up to you and say “Oh look… we’re twinsies!!!”. or “We’re you get the same shirt? i got mine a few years back at ” blah blah blah…

    Things guys do to build their confidence

    • Men actually make faces at each other. The first one to look away is a wimp. The one to look at the most guys making faces and not be first to look away, is the champion of that many men. Most make angry faces. Many make the faces thinking it helps avoid confrontation. The faces are usually similar to constipation.
    • Men actually make sounds and if the other guy doesn’t match him, he is the victor. Slamming books when their is zero logic in slamming a book. ETC.
    • Men actually purposely “stick it to the next guy”. Yes the pee on the toilet seat is for their pleasure. You can not be that age and not realize their shins are all sprinkled up with pee. He actually stands back to prevent it splattering his pants and makes sure to get a little, or a lot on the lid. Yes the swirly marble fudge in the toilet is on purpose too. Same with stinking the room up and shutting the door and not turning the vent on when they leave the office bathroom.
    • Men race for everything. All men do it. Even your Suave dude with greasy hair. Even the skinny coffee shop dude with the beard and scarf in the summer. When they get to a store, they hunt for someone who looks the same distance from the door as them, and begin to race to the door. If they need a buggy, they will actually skip out on the buggy and carry groceries in their hand all through the store. So when you see that guy loaded down walking the store, be sure that he won the race. So ladies, don’t try and race to the door so the guy will hold it for you , he will blow you away.
    • If a guy is in front of another and he sees the guy in back is in a hurry, he will take his time (even if he too is in a hurry). He will take his time to the point that it is not worth being there in line anymore.
    • When a guy sees another guy looking at something in the distance, he will step between the guy looking, and the item he is looking at. He will stand there until the guy interrupted gives up and walks away. He will then walk away.
    • Some guys do things to startle other guys. If the other guy twitches or jumps, he won. confidence grows.
    • Men have vocal challenges. Much like monkeys and dogs. One starts talking and the rest start talking louder. Loudest one wins. It can go on for hours in some stupid standoff where they all are talking and no one is listening. You can literally chime in and start saying nothing at all. “Apples grapes tuned port elephant with posi-traction lawnmower loud filament”. most likely saying “filament” will make them all stop and stare at you. Grin and walk away because you just won their game.
    • When you walk away thinking “what an idiot” he actually thinks he won something.
    • They will grow weird facial hair to hide their baby face so they look more manly.
    • Men will practice their “Tough guy” face in the mirror.
    • The truck that never gets used for anything but commuting… He owns it for a look it projects about him. Nothing more. He won’t help you move. He isn’t physically capable and has no idea what to do.

     

    It’s all a game. A bluff game that they have gradually started to believe is what makes them who they are. The more they play the game and the “better” they are at it, the dumber they are. This game usually takes all of their energy as they get older. The less the testosterone, the harder they have to bluff. Basically they have blown their load of testosterone by pretending to be full of testosterone. It’s like putting nitros on a moped and trying to pretend to be a superbike. Stop it. Your moped looks funny and is useless now. you burned the pistons and you leak a lot.