Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

Why men and Women can’t be Just Friends

I was talking to an Ex on the phone, and the topic of why men and women can or can not be “just friends” came up.

Of course I am the guy and I say that we can’t be “just friends” and she, the female swears she has guy friends, who just want to be friends.
Now she thinks I am crazy. Or that’s what she says while not wanting to admit that females are just as desperate and bad as men.

See, this is how I see that it works. If you are a single person, you want to be with someone else. If you have no one in mind specifically, then you are looking for someone to come along. Now people don’t just come along. You have to be where new people are, and who you are hanging out with at that time, is quite crucial to what people see you as. If you are hanging out with your buddies and you run into a woman, she now has all of you to pick through. And well, that’s not cool. If you are hanging out by yourself, you look lonely and desperate. If you are hanging out with a woman, you look taken. Any conversation you try and start up with any sensible woman, will sound like total BS. If not, then she might be the most gullible woman on the planet. Or one that is into weird role playing and dating taken men and decides to play along for the weird adventure. Yeah. Good luck with her.
but back on topic .
If you hang out with a woman on a regular basis, it will not be long before you make some sort of connection. Before you suddenly click on a topic that you relate with . If not, then why are you hanging out with her?
One of the hardest things to get in a relationship, is a good relationship and things in common. When you find things in common, you feel more attached. Certain attachments happen when you are dealing with the person of the opposite gender, and you are someone who likes the opposite gender.
No guy is going to waste perfectly good “girl hunting” time, with a woman who will lead him to nowhere. Friend zone sucks.

My whole life, I have known women who say they only get along with men. These women also say that they can only be friends with men. All of these women, are married now, and only hang out with the husband and a couple girls they have known their whole lives. Except one super crazy woman.

It has always been my experience that women who hang out with just guys, don’t put two and two together very fast (that is giving them the benefit of doubt) that the guy only hangs out with her because he wants her. That’s why he does so much crap for her, and the reason she doesn’t hang out with women is because the women don’t kiss her butt like men who want her , will do. And well, really guys, you shouldn’t be with a woman like that. You need to be with a woman who hangs out with women. Anything more than 1/5 friend ration being guys, you are looking at problems.

Sure one or a few of her friends used to be married and now the wife is out of the picture. Fine. Why does the wife not talk to her and how or why is the guy more connected with her after the divorce?

The friend zone sucks. And when you are there and you think she might be with you because she flirts really hard with and then either sends you on missions, or makes you do stuff you don’t really care to do (normally) then dude, you are in the friend zone and that’s all you will be. And you are being used.

friend zone

Pause for a moment, I caught myself writing this on facebook. Never finished it so here it is.

As a guy, …. ladies…. We like to hook up with people we already know. That way we aren’t doinking someone and then later finding out that we just bumped uglies with a crazy person. All of the crazy stuff of a friend, is already out there in the open.

It’s not that it’s easier, that way. Not at all. It’s less stressful. and perhaps after as much time as gone by, you have actually come to feel some pretty strong feelings for the person. You know, one day you are laying back in bed thinking your super hero thoughts before you go to bed “yeah I would totally save the world and risk my life doing it” and then the thought crosses “would I risk my life for my buddy “yeah I would risk my life for my buddy” Would I risk my life for her? ” Yes, because she knows my family and can tell them why I am a good person” etc etc… and then just before you fall asleep “would ya do her???” .. Ok…. now you’re awake .

You kind of shrug it off, and then the very next day, you are hanging out and she does something that you totally appreciate and agree with and instantly your brain says “yes, Yes I would”. You shrug it off not wanting to add complications and you go on with your day. Or you hit on her and everything changes. Good or bad. If there are conditions in your life where many things could be lost if taken the wrong way, then you don’t hit on her. You won’t even look her in the face. You may even brush her off

Can a guy just be a girls friend? no.. and she knows damn well that the 9000 times he “joked about sex” wasn’t a joke, but some weird delusional world tells her it’s ok and it means nothing, “in certain circumstances”

For the most part, I judge a woman by how many female friends she has and how many male friends she has. I judge her sanity right then. Not her actual sanity (legal sanity), but how boggled she will leave you. How nuts she will make you feel, most of the time. If she has nothing but guy friends, I want nothing to do with her. She will be problems, she might be a little fun, but sheesh, the headaches you may encounter really aren’t worth it. By my experiences. If she has nothing but female friends, then she might actually have her morals in the right place, but might be a tad on the dull side.

Infidelity What Makes it So Wrong

Infidelity What Makes it So Wrong

Infidelity, known as cheating, breaking rules, betrayal, disrespect to the other person you have agreement of standards with.
The biggest issue of a cheater is the simple fact that the person who is betraying the other person, is ; a liar, a deal breaker and a cheat. Those are some of the biggest unforgivable things you can do to make a friend dislike you or a company fire you if you did those things to them. So yes infidelity is bad for the one you love. What makes this bad is knowing that the cheater is doing something that the other person is not going to like so the cheater lies to them so  much that it is as if the cheater thinks they are brainwashing the other.
One of the oldest phrases about the morals of not telling a lie is “one lie leads to another”. When you consider that phrase to be a pretty good one, think of how many lies a person has to tell when they live with the person they are cheating on. Lies such as; what the cheater did, what the cheater did before the cheater did it, why the cheater did it, why the cheater did the thing that coincides with it, why the cheater did do this-or-that and why the cheater don’t want to do this or that. So everything that person does we can go ahead and consider it a lie. Not one thing the cheater says should ever be trusted. If 40% of every day is something that person should by all means be lied about. Then the other 60% is wasted on lying about the earlier 40%. So everything you understand about that person, is their imagination mixed with what ever story you bought it to be. and yes some of the stuff the cheater will tell you is so stupid, you can’t help but say “no way I love someone that dumb”. Yeah you do. Sad thing is, the whole idea that being a compulsive liar is fun, cool, skilled, witty,or normal Is as stupid and diluted by their own insanity as it can get.

Signs of infidelity

(These signs are simplistic, as if you are dealing with the stupidest most moronic moron, no one is so stupid as to use all of these)

Mad Dog – If you ask the cheater where they are going, or where they came from, they bark off at you with uncalled for arguing. This is hopes that you will be willing to prevent losing the love of your life by dropping the subject. Or that you are to lazy to care so much about it to fight. Or that you are a punk.
Empty gifts – out of the blue the cheater gives you a gift but it is nothing in relation to what you do and you have no idea why YOU were given such an item. Means you found this item and the excuse is that it was for you. Ex: you are a vegetarian and you came home early to find a meal made for you and the cheater, candles, wine, steak etc.
Birth Control Change – finding contraceptive material while you and your new spouse are trying to have a baby. For the guys she suddenly wants you to use a condom. Means she is with more than one person and if she gets pregnant, there would be a bit much confusion.
Disrespectful friends and/or Family/coworkers This would be the spouse’s family or friends coworkers. They just suddenly treat you like a chump, or talk about how predictable you are. This means they know and with knowing how you are getting snowed over like this, they have no respect for you anymore.
Bad Story Memory – From time to time the partner when in a good mood is sharing a cool story with you but has to ask ” Did I already tell you this story?”. Means they have already told someone they hold close to them as they do you. They are so deep in the other relationship, you and the other person they love, are kind of blending into one now. ” Did I tell you what happened to me today?”. and you just got home.
Dreams stop – the cheater stops telling you about their plans, hopes, dreams. This relationship is about to end. Or they wish it would and you are no longer worth spending that breath on.
Sudden Change of subject – You just came to something the cheater knows will get them busted so they change the subject to something way off, so you do not ask much, don’t look in a certain direction (probably a condom wrapper on the night stand).

You did not make the cheater cheat. The cheater did it for thrill, for change and to feel a sense of relationship power. To the cheater they feel as if they are controlling more things and as if they have better control of things if they can handle the crazy moments that come about while they are cheating on you and you seem to notice something odd, but they lie to keep things as they were. these people know they are chaotic disorganized and really have no plans or hopes they just wing things as they go and figure they will work things out on the fly. These people are scrambled and emotionally useless. What you have known or what you thought you knew about the cheater is a lie to make them seem like more of a person you would spend time with. The time you have spent with them is a waste. There is no coming back to that. Because what you thought was a relationship was nothing but their lie and your imagination telling you what was actually going on. The best the memory of your relationship would be good for is to write a book about the relationship you thought you had and write it off as a love story to be shelved in the fiction area. That girlfriend or boyfriend did not exist. At all, there was just a mixed up weirdo playing the role of your love, for a little while.

Infidelity is no where near love. Infidelity can not be cured. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

So would you know if your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating on you? Many people have no idea their wife or husband or boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on them, until something drastic happens. Typically by that time, everyone you know, already knows and felt it was not their duty to tell you that you are being cheated on. How do people get that way? No clue how a relative or a so called friend could say “hey the new boyfriend/girlfriend’s name is…”. Of course if you are in what you thought was love, it will be hard to take the information of a cheater, from someone who is not your love. and we all know that a guy who is in love with a woman who is with another man, will sometimes tell the woman her boyfriend is cheating on her, when he actually is not. And an ex-girlfriend will tell the new girlfriend that she is with the man, when she actually was not. and vice versa. It can be hard to take that information in when it happens. but you have to at least consider the chances of truth when the information is handed.

Comments are open.

Couples Advice 1.0 – Hobbies

Relationships can go wrong if things are not true up front. It's not True Love if you are lying.

Read more...

Ways a Guy Can Be a Better Lover

someone is a bit greedy ? hmmm worthless.

Read more...

Relationships Cause and Effects

What's that? it's a white knight on a white horse coming to save you??? nope, it's a dude on a donkey...

Read more...